I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
