I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
