what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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