I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
accomplished twins. life is a go
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
