I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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