I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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