So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i think i have two assholes
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize