using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
So much Jack, so little girl.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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