my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
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