I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
