who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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