I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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