Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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