Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
thus making me awesome and them whores
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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