So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
