My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
