We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
