so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
even my farts smell like vagina
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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