hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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