how can u be prego again
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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