Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
