Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
