just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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