you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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