and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
