She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
