So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Randomize