That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize