So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
