They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
