Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
