I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
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