Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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