Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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