Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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