i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
