I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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