I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
