He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Holy sore nipples Batman
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
