New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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