he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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