I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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