from now on my penis is your penis
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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