you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
