you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
