can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
