Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
