We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
