just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
