Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
