In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
