There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I'm having to shit out rocks
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
