I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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