I wish I could punch you in the face.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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