idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
