My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
