summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
