Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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