Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
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