We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
